A Personal Question
by chaini
Summary: McCoy is having doubts about his careers effects on his daughter Joanne. These doubts lead him to ask Spock a slightly personal Question. Could Spocks answer put the doctors doubts to rest. A oneshot about friendship and parenting.


Disclaimer: I do not own star trek. I wish i did but don't so please don't sue.

**A Personal Question **

"Damn," A voice echoed in the quiet of the medical lab causing Spock to lift his head from the specimen he was leaning over. For over an hour, the doctor has been rummaging about in his office, disturbing the peace that Spock cherished the medical lab for and up until now Spock had indulged the doctor. After all, it was McCoy's office and he had every right to stand in it and swear to his "hearts" content. But, over the last few minutes the swearing seemed to be increasing in both frequency and volume and overall just shattering the tranquility. Even Spock's usually unshakeable demeanor was being to be disturbed.

"Damn, damn, DAMN."

Spock's head swiveled to glare at the open door. Flipping off the microscope, Spock rose from the desk and made his way over to the door where he paused before knocking lightly on the frame. "Doctor, may I ask what you are swearing at?" he inquired, his voice, though level, containing an icy tone.

The doctor did not answer. Instead, Spock heard what sounded like the shuffling of clothed knees across the floor followed by a loud bang and a pained yelp. Spock quickly swung the door open to find Dr. McCoy sprawled out on the floor, his hand clutching his head. Spock hurried to his side. "Doctor, are you alright?"

McCoy cursed as Spock reached down to grab the doctors shoulders and hauling up to the modest terminal chair. Rubbing at a growing bump on his head, the doctor's clouded stunned eyes began to clear and focus themselves on the Vulcan's figure. He blushed, shrugging off the Vulcan's hands. "I'm fine, I'm fine, I just. . ." the doctor paused to glare at the corner of his polished desk, "bumped my head."

Spock's eyes followed the doctor's gaze and a slight glint of amusement shone momentarily in his eyes. Crossing the room, he pulled a cold compression from a shelf of medical supplies and bend the thin piece of plastic back. The compress gave out a soft click before starting to glow light blue as its temperature dropped. Spock handed it to doctor McCoy who took it sheepishly before pressing it to his forehead. "And why, may I ask, were you crawling on the floor?"

"I was not crawling on the floor. I dropped something." McCoy grumbled, "A small silver ring. Damn, thing rolled under the desk somewhere. I can't find it."

Spock raised an eyebrow. Lowering his gaze to the floor he scanned the room, bending over slightly to peer under the ledge of the desk. Gracefully, he bent down to reach into the dusty caverns under one of the bookshelves and, after a few minutes, his hand reemerged holding between his fingers a small and delicate ring of twisted silver.

"Now, how in the hell. . ."

Spock ignored the doctor as he examined his find. The ring held a small gem. A ruby, Spock's mind supplied. Flipping the ring over Spock noticed an inscription on the inside. Bringing it closer to his face, Spock studied the words etched in the soft metal. "_To Joanna, you will always be my little girl, love Daddy_." Spock read out loud.

"Its her fourteenth birthday in few weeks." McCoy said softly. "Thought I would send it to her. Might even make it there in time. Would do anything to be there to give it to her myself but. . . " McCoy sighed as he looked to the small framed picture sitting on his desk. In it a small girl with bright blue eyes smiled, a gap in her front teeth, at the camera. "You know, the last time I was there, I asked my ex-wife to let me take her out, but when I got there Joanna refused to come down stairs. Said that she did not want to see me. That I could go back to that ship I loved so much."

Spock looked at the doctor, surprised at the confession only then to realize that the doctor was not talking to him, not really. The doctor was talking to that picture, his eyes far away. "Of course, my ex-wife made her go and in the end she did end up having fun, at least I think she did. But when it came time for me to leave I could still see that anger in her eyes, anger and hurt. Like I had betrayed her in some way. Can't get that image out of my head." McCoy glanced at Spock as if he had forgotten that the Vulcan was here and gave him a weary smile. "Kids, huh."

Spock glanced at the floor looking for something appropriate to say . "She is, as you say, a teenage. Humans seem fond of pointing out the tendencies of children at that age to rebel."

McCoy shook his head, "Naw, its more than that. Its this blasted ship. Hardly ever get shore leave and when we do nine out of ten times they cancel on us. Its not fair to her. I say that I am coming home and I got to cancel it just like that. Birthdays, first dates, proms, I'm missing them all. I would not be surprised if she hated me forever for that." McCoy shook his head and got up holding his hand out to the Vulcan who obediently dropped the silver circle into his palm. Looking up at the Vulcan curiously, the doctor blushed before saying, "Hey, Spock, can I ask you a personal question?"

Spock nodded curious to what the doctor was about to query.

"Your father was an ambassador right? Was he around much when you were young?" McCoy asked.

"His duties often pulled him away from the planet, as with any diplomat. When I was young, my mother and I often traveled with him, but when I entered schooling, my father often left me in my mother's care or the care of my grandmother when my mother's presents was also required." Spock replied almost absentmindedly he gave the door a slightly wanting look. Now that the doctor was silenced, Spock was eager to get back to his work.

"Did you ever resent them?"

Spock looked back at the doctor, surprised. He should have expected the question. Serek's job required long periods of absences and sudden calls of duty same as McCoy's. Spock could still faintly remember disorienting nights when he was woken by his mother or father and ushered into clothing, half asleep, so that he could be transferred into the care of a relative so that his father could rush off to prevent wars between diplomatic allies, Spock's mother a pillar at his side. But those days were the norm for Spock since he was young. Spock, who was so caught up in his studies and his daily passive aggressive arguments with his torturous peers that he hardly had time to fret over his parents sporadic absences. But there were times, few but still vivid in his mind, where his parents absence were felt. Small things mostly. Hard earned prizes, won despite his teachers' prejudice towards the small child of mixed blood. Times he had stood up to be recognized at scholarly events only to stare at empty seats in the crowd amid a sea of cold and hateful faces. Memories that he hadn't thought of for years came to the forefront of his mind, surprising Spock with intensity of them.

"Spock?"

Spock snapped out of his thoughts at the doctor's soft voice. Shaking his head slightly, he looked at the floor. " No, not that I can recall." He whispered, trying to ignore the all to human twinge of guilt he felt for the lie.

The doctor did not seemed fooled. Indeed, the Vulcan's words seemed to do the opposite of reassuring the doctor, who looked down at the desk, his eyes filled with a pain that the Vulcan could not remember ever seeing, at least not in that intensity. "Yeah, I guess that a Vulcan like you wouldn't mind. Why did I even ask? Its like pairing apples with oranges."

"Apples and oranges? What does fruit have to do with our current discussion? " Spock asked, attempting to lighten the heavy atmosphere of depression that seemed to fall about the room.

The doctor managed to smile. "Never mind, Spock." Putting the ring on a shelf, the doctor turned away to reach for some reports sitting on his desk. " Well, now that's that found, I guess I had better get back to my reports and let you get back to what ever creepy crawler you got under that microscope out there."

Spock nodded, thankfully. "Indeed, doctor." He said before heading towards the door. But as he reached it, something within him forced him to stop. For some reason, Spock felt like he had failed the doctor in some way. Illogical, of course. His fey of innocents had succeeded at making the doctor forget his melancholy mood but still something did not quite seem right.

The doctor seemed to notice his hesitation. "Something wrong, Spock?"

Spock hesitated before turning taking a few steps back into the doctors office. "I just wanted to tell you, doctor, that your daughter does not resent you, nor does she hate you. In time I think you will find that she just misses you, which is what fuels her anger. Right now, she thinks only of the promises you have been forced to break but in time, she will understand and see you as you as what you really are."

The doctor stared at the Vulcan, transfixed by Spock's sudden words. In a whisper, he asked, "And what is that."

" A excellent doctor, a fine soldier and a dedicated father who is doing the best he can." Spock stated. He took a step forward and the doctor looked up at him in surprise. Brown eyes locked onto blue and in an oddly gentle voice, Spock finished. " And is doing a fine job at that."

The doctor looked startled for a moment before looking away, but not before Spock saw a slight shimmer in the doctors eyes. Spock nodded at the doctors back before turning. "That was all doctor. I am going back to work now."

Doctor McCoy nodded, still not looking the Vulcan's way. Spock nodded back, secretly relieved that the the odd feeling that had fueled his words dissipate. He turned to go back to his work. When he reached the doorway, the doctor suddenly spoke. His voice was soft and barely audible to the Vulcan but Spock heard it all the same.

"Thank you."


End file.
